I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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