I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We have started to decorate penises.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
