that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
