It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
