After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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