Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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