True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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