Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize