But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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