she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
