so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
