how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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