so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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