Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
