I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
