I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
