maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
