Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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