I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
