I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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