if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Mom said you looked used
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
