I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
