Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
