I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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