The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
