The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
