How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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