So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm always down for nudity.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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