another moral hangover. fuck.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
