Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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