Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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