that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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