it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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