I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
