Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
