Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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