That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
