i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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