who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
