So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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