I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
