Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
