i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
