i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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