is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
