I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
