My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
