This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Someone signed my nipple.
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