I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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