I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
