We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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