Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
