Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
pop tarts are not kleenex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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