remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
