You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
