Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
