My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
