HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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