we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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